The Rules of Reading: The art and science of reading WITH a child

Reading might seem automatic to you, but it was once almost certainly very hard. Unlike speaking and understanding spoken language, reading is not a natural process. What I mean by that is that there is not a built-in mechanism for learning it. This means, children will learn to speak and understand spoken language without explicit or intentional instruction. This means they will hear it and see it, but not be taught it, and still learn it. They will not learn to read in the same way. Someone needs to help children make the explicit connection between the words they hear and produce, and the words written on the pages in front of them. As such, learning to read is an arduous, challenging process that requires patience and practice. But when achieved, reading can be a powerful shaper of the mind - both physically and metaphorically.

Most people gravitate towards reading with the children in their lives. Not only is reading stories a fun bonding experience, but the more you read to your children, the more real words and phrases they hear; this results in higher language literacy skills, better emotional granularity (understanding words for feelings), better numeracy (understanding words for numbers), and more success in their lives intellectually and academically. The more books you have in your home, the more access you are giving your children to creative ideas, knowledge, and opportunity. Buying or borrowing books tells your child that reading, thinking, learning, and educating themselves is something to value and prioritize. But having those books and reading to children that can’t yet read to themselves is just the start of reading best practices; there is much more to be done to best set your child up for success in reading skills, and language development.

1. Read with children (not just to them)

Most parents and educators know the value of reading to their children, especially when they are starting to learn to read. Most even start to read to their children before they are developmentally ready to begin reading themselves - and that is an absolutely wonderful thing to do! I mean, when the kids can’t read yet, how else can they hear the fun stories of books, right? This is absolutely true (as is the science that tells us that even pre-verbal children attend to voices and sentence structures)!

But what about when kids start reading on their own? Many parents keep reading to their children for a little while, and then when their children are proficient enough, they stop. We have busy lives and lots to do, and so we say to our children, “You know how to read now, so go right ahead and read!” Thus reading becomes solitary, error-prone, and devoid of human interaction and guidance. Of course it is a wonderful thing when a child learns to read on their own, and we want to support that independence. But interestingly, this is not the best time to stop reading with them, it is just the beginning! Support their independent reading by letting them ask you questions. Sit with them while they read aloud to you, or even while you read silently together. Help them when they ask you for help with words they don’t yet know. Ask them questions about what they saw in the book. Be a part of their reading journey for as long as you can, for as long as they want you to be!

2. Let children read to you, and do NOT correct errors as they read

Reading out loud is a great first step in the process of learning to read: making word sounds and connecting them with written symbols (like letters), then with strings of sounds/symbols (like words), phrases, and sentences. Of course, reading out loud is actually a very challenging process for most children, as is reading in general. So, you are thrilled when a child you know starts to sound out letters (or other symbols), then to recognize full words, then to read out full sentences, and make those complex connections! And hopefully you will now encourage them to keep reading out loud to you whenever you can! Almost immediately when your child starts reading out loud, many caregivers start noticing the mistakes the child is making and correcting them. Please STOP doing that.

Most of the time, Children will learn to correct their own mistakes. Just as most children will correct their own spoken word errors, they will learn to correct their own written word errors. (And if not, or if you are worried, they can always be seen by a Speech-Language Pathologist, Reading Specialist, or other expert that specializes in spoken or written language learning skills to be sure they are getting all of the help and support they need for their individual needs.)

In general, interrupting a child to correct an error in reading aloud is anti-motivational. It makes reading a burden, a critique, and a time for judgement. Instead of being a time of intrinsic motivation to hear what is next and to find what is interesting, it becomes a time to impress or be stressed by those who are listening. This lowers natural interests in reading, as it becomes “good” or “bad” instead of just entertaining and interesting. Not only that, but interrupting a child while they are reading does just that - it interrupts the flow of the sentence, and of the story. This makes the story disjointed, unnatural, and harder to follow. It also prevents children from using context clues to determine if what they are saying makes sense and hinders their ability to practice that valuable skill.

When I say this, the basic next question of course is, “But then how do I help my child develop the skill of reading out loud without making those mistakes?” Please refer to #1! Keep reading to them, even after they have learned to read to themselves! Read the same books that they are reading themselves, and more. This helps them connect what is on the page with what you are saying and what they are saying. And answer their questions! When they look up at you for guidance, give them the gentle guidance they seek.

3. Learning anything requires practice: repeat, repeat, repeat

Learning to read is much like anything else. Read, read, read. And as much as you might not want to, let them read the same books over, and over, and over again. This is how they learn to think about everything that is in that book. You may already know all the little pieces of the books your child wants to read repeatedly, how the simple words fit together, how the pictures go with or add to the story, but think about how much of the world is completely new to the child.

4. Start with the words and the story, and then go beyond it

For children, reading is a fun story and a great way to learn. But the best readers don’t stop at the story, they go beyond it. They ask questions of the story, they think beyond the words that are said and into the words that are meant. They connect the world as it is with the world as it is written. Okay, but we’re talking about kids and picture books, right? Yes, even in good picture books there are questions to ask, details to notice, skepticisms to engage, lessons to learn. Help make sure the children in your life understand the story in their own time, and see what they might help you understand about the story that you might have missed yourself.

Ask your children questions after they read to you! Let them interrupt you to ask them questions! Ask questions about the story, the characters, the feelings, the pictures. Ask them to make connections, ask them what they learned, how they felt, what they think.

Have them draw pictures about the story, act out plays about the story, make cookies inspired by the story, do whatever your heart desires that connects back to the story in some way. Be inspired together!

5. Make reading fun!

The best way to encourage children to read is to keep reading fun. One of the best intrinsic (self-driven) motivators for most anything (including reading) is entertainment. When learning to read is fun, reading becomes fun, and when reading is fun, it is easier. The easiest way to kill a love of reading is to make it a chore or an opportunity for criticism. Curiosity is a natural and healthy state; wanting to learn is just as natural, and reading is an easy way to quench those thirsts. But when we make learning all about tests and reading all about criticisms, it is also natural to stop finding those things fun and entertaining.

So what kinds of books should you read with your children to keep them engaged and learning? That sounds like a hard question, but it’s actually profoundly simple: you should read the books they are interested in reading! Maybe they’d like to read this one?